hellos, goodbyes, and lara

i know a lot of people have opinions on the ending of sayonara lara. people will think what they think, people will say what they say—and while it does break my heart to think that so many people have such mixed feelings about this finale, it doesn’t change how i personally feel about the ending.

i love it, and i love this show. so, so much.

sayonara lara is a story that hinges on finding love. throughout the entire show, we see lara embarking on that journey, only to be hurt time and time again. she finds it with the prince, only to be rejected with repulsion and fear. she thinks she finds it in luca, because he is reminiscent of her old lover.

but that’s not how it goes. entering love and a relationship like that, it often leads into an ouroboros of destruction and heartache. we see it in the way lara pursues luca, and she feels unsatisfied and unfulfilled in so many ways. and yet tries, because this has to be it, right? because luca was a chance for lara redeem herself from her past, to rewrite her history, to prove to herself that yes! love exists! and i found it in the story that almost killed me! take that, world!

but the moment love becomes a revenge story, i think we lose the whole point of it.

and i think lara eventually learns that.

so she learns more about herself. takes up baking. makes new connections. continues to find the love she desperately needs to stay human. because that love…it has to be in someone else, right? someone else surely has the key to lara’s heart, right?

but maybe that’s not everything to love.

what mari says in the last episode made me lose my shit.

“aren’t we all made to love someone?”

and maybe it’s a cop-out or cheesy or whatever, but who is to say that someone isn’t ourselves? in fact, who’s to say that isn’t the person we should love?

so often, i think we reduce love stories to people saving one another, licking each other’s wounds. but that’s not love. we are not made to fix each other. no one can do that for us. the only person who can fix us are, well, ourselves. it's only when lara is on the brink of losing it all does she realize that she wants to live! and to love! because she lives in a world where mari exists. and i don't think mari fixed her. i think she inspired lara to do the work.

and i think that’s what makes mari’s relationship with lara so special and different. mari has no expectations for lara, on who she is, who she should be, what she needs to fulfill. she loves lara on who lara is, and she quietly supports lara to evolve and grow, giving her to space to grow, even if it means letting her go a little bit.

lara’s journey is one so personal and dear to me. it is one that i have tried to make sense of myself, one that i am still trying to navigate towards. i have projected my own fears and insecurities onto people. i have desperately tried to find love in the people around me, hoping that it’ll fix me. that it’ll save me and the horrible, horrible person i thought i was.

but that’s not true at all. and i think it just takes time and effort to really come to that conclusion.

i don’t think that letting go or allowing someone to leave is a matter of saying goodbye. in fact, i think that sometimes, letting go is the greatest act of love and trust someone can do.

i think i said it the best in my liz and the blue bird post.

as i was thinking about this story, i thought to myself multiple times, “well, if liz lets the blue bird go, can’t the blue bird just come by to visit any time?” and i think that’s the whole point of the narrative. it’s not about letting go forever. it’s about giving them the choice to come back. because, as they say, if you love something, you let it go.
and if it was meant to be, it’ll come back.

i believe lara loves mari. and i also believe mari reciprocates those feelings.

i could go on about what i think about their relationship, but aligning with the christian themes present in the show, i think 1 corinthians 13 summarizes it all:

because love is patient, and love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. love never fails. but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

how beautiful it is, to love and be loved—by yourself and the people who truly see you for what you are.

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thank you for reading